Falling Apart: The Raw Reality of an Emotional Breakdown After a Breakup
Breakups can feel like a gut punch that you just can’t shake. If you’re reading this, I bet you’re dealing with an emotional breakdown after a breakup.
Don’t worry, you’re in the right place.
I’ve been through three breakups in my adult life, so this isn’t my first rodeo.
In this post, you’ll learn about the signs of an emotional breakdown and how to recognize them in yourself.
Trust me, you will have this low moment.
That’s part of your healing journey.
But that’s not all. Have you ever wondered:
- How to deal with emotional breakdown after breakup
- Depression after breakup symptoms
- How to heal from a breakup when you still love them
- How long does breakup depression last
- Depression after breakup with narcissist
- Power of silence after break up
You’re in treat because we also talk about that in this blog post.
By the end of this post, you’ll have a clearer picture of what emotional breakdown after a breakup is all about.
Let’s get into it.
What is an Emotional Breakdown?
Have you ever found yourself sobbing at work?
Or did you feel your eyes well up just seeing a couple holding hands on your commute?
Maybe your hands start trembling as you sip coffee, realizing it’s the kind your ex always ordered.
That’s an example of an emotional breakdown. It’s normal to have moments like these, especially after a breakup. When you feel overwhelmed, coping with daily life as you normally would can be difficult.
During an emotional breakdown, someone might feel intense sadness, anxiety, or even numbness, and it’s common to experience physical symptoms as well, like fatigue, headaches, or trouble sleeping.
Having an emotional breakdown doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re a normal human being. An emotional breakdown is a sign that you must slow down and take care of yourself.
Allow yourself to feel your sadness; it’s part of your healing process. Once you process your emotions, you’ll show up on the other side stronger than before.
10 Early Signs of an Emotional Breakdown After a Breakup
Coping with a broken heart can lead to emotional breakdowns. The deeper the pain, the more frequent these low moments may feel. Here are 10 early signs of an emotional breakdown; see if any resonate with you.
1. You Feel Tired All the Time
Ever feel like no matter how much you sleep, you’re always exhausted?
You drag through the day and rely on coffee, although you have 8 hours of sleep at night.
It happens to all of us from time to time. But if we’re in this state too often, maybe you need to check in with yourself.
Constant fatigue like this can be a sign of emotional overload. There’s something your mind can’t let go of, and it keeps replaying memories that you don’t even like.
2. You Can’t Focus on Anything or Remember Details
When you’re emotionally shaken, it’s hard to concentrate on anything. You might read the same sentence over and over like it’s a foreign language you’ve never heard.
Or maybe you’re in a conversation, and a minute later, you have no idea what was just said.
This is commonly called ‘brain fog.’
Your mind is consumed with processing negative experiences, making it difficult to retain information. If this goes on for too long, it can impact your performance at work, and your life may start to feel like it’s sliding downhill.
3. You Feel Overwhelmed by Emotions You Can’t Control
After a breakup, your emotions can be unstable. Little, random things can suddenly trigger intense feelings.
When I was freshly out of my 8-year relationship, I broke down in tears just from opening a door because it reminded me of how my ex always opened doors for me.
Another form of overwhelming emotion is sudden anger. Small things, like someone laughing or a certain song, can set you off. Often, once the anger fades, you’re left wondering, “Why did I just snap like that?”
This rollercoaster of emotions is normal. But be mindful of how your emotional breakdown affects those around you. Breaking up is hard, but it doesn’t justify hurting others.
If you feel you’re losing control, apologize right away.
4. You Don’t Find Joy in Things You Used to Love
Notably, if those activities remind you of your ex.
When you’re dealing with an emotional breakdown, you may find yourself isolating at home. Joining the rest of the world can feel overwhelming, and you just don’t have the mental capacity for it.
However, if you let it happen for too long, it will slow down your healing process.
Instead of forcing yourself to do things you once enjoyed, see this as a sign that it’s time to try something new.
Every day, challenge yourself to do something different, like trying a new dish, attending a workout class you’ve never been to, or learning something you could improve at (for me, it’s cooking).
These simple, new activities can speed up your healing by shifting your focus to something fresh.
5. You’ll Make Stupid Mistakes
When you’re heartbroken, don’t be surprised if you start forgetting simple things like locking your door, misplacing your keys, or forgetting your password.
Your brain is overloaded with emotion. Forgive yourself for making “stupid mistakes” and trust the process; you’ll get better soon.
One thing to watch out for is avoiding impulsive mistakes with lifelong consequences, like having a one-night stand with someone you don’t know, only to end up facing an unexpected pregnancy.
Or like someone I know who married a woman he met at a club, just to make sure he got married before his ex did. Now, he’s in an unhappy marriage and trying to get a divorce.
These things might seem silly when we’re in a normal state, but when your emotions are crippling you, they can feel like reasonable decisions.
6. You Keep Withdrawing from Friends and Family
Do you know what the most annoying thing is when you’re recovering from a broken heart? It’s when people ask, “How are you doing?” or “What happened?”
People ask because they care, but when we’re not ready to answer, it’s easier to avoid everyone. Before you know it, you’ve spent weeks—maybe even months—isolating yourself at home.
There was a time when I didn’t leave my apartment complex for three months. It felt easier to be alone than to face the world.
Eventually, though, I realized that staying in my bubble wasn’t helping me heal. So, I set a personal rule: I’d go out and hang out with real people at least once a month.
As an introvert, even once a month made a difference and drained my social battery.
You can set your own rules on how often you want to connect with others and get out of your head.
7. You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Problems
After a breakup, it’s easy to replay every conversation with your ex, searching for where things went wrong or wondering if you could’ve done something differently.
Was it something you said that ended the relationship?
You might even spend hours thinking, “If only I’d said something else, maybe I wouldn’t be single now.”
The hardest moments often come at night, lying down and trying to sleep, only to find yourself sobbing and reaching for the empty space beside you where your ex used to be.
At this point, it doesn’t matter who was at fault; the relationship is over. There’s no need to wish things were different.
Instead of asking ‘What if?’ try asking, ‘What’s next?’
This question will help you crawl your way out of the breakup rut.
8. You Experience Physical Pain, Like Headaches or Stomachaches
When you’re on the edge of an emotional breakdown, it’s not just your mind that takes a hit; your body feels it, too.
Believe it or not, our bodies are often more honest than our minds.
For me, my major indicator of stress is my period. I track my period using Flow, and I notice that every time I feel stressed, my period is always late.
You might feel different symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, back pain, etc.
Listen to your body. Ignoring its signals doesn’t make you a hero (the more pain you can bear, the stronger you are); it makes you reckless.
And trust me, sooner or later, you’ll pay the price. In extreme cases, it could even lead to hospitalization.
9. You Eat Too Much or Not at All
Your appetite can take a wild turn when you’re dealing with an emotional breakdown.
Some people stop eating entirely, which can lead to illness, while others fall into binge eating and gain weight uncontrollably.
Or you might be something in between.
Another form of this is eating too much comfort food like mac and cheese, ice cream, chocolate, etc.
Since high school, my go-to guilty pleasure after a heartbreak has been devouring a bucket of chocolate ice cream, sometimes until I get a stomachache. Strangely, it always seemed to make me feel a little better.
These days, maybe not a whole liter, but it’s still my comfort fix when I need it.
It’s okay if you’re eating differently than usual. But remember that what you put into your body will impact your quality of life.
If it’s been too long and you start to get sick, you must take back control. Allow yourself to ask for professional help before things get worse.
10. You Feel Constantly Anxious or On Edge
When you’re heading toward an emotional breakdown, everything might look like trouble. You constantly find reasons to worry, and your mind is filled with negative thoughts.
Because what’s in your mind affects your decisions and actions, some of those
negative thoughts will start to manifest in real life. This will make you believe them more, worry more, and soon, you’ll find yourself trapped in a negative rabbit hole.
If that sounds like where you are now, let me tell you this: out of the 1,000 things you worry about, barely one will come true.
Focus on just one step ahead.
Everything will fall into place, and you’ll be fine.
Is Emotional Breakdown After a Breakup Normal? Yes, Give Yourself Some Grace.
If you’ve read this far, you should now understand what emotional breakdown symptoms are. Now, it’s time to ask yourself, “Do I have any of these symptoms?”
You don’t need to be ashamed to admit it; having an emotional breakdown is completely normal. Everyone has a different capacity for stress, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed when you reach your limit.
While this problem can’t be solved overnight, it’s helpful to take a step back, care for yourself, and allow yourself time to regain clarity.
Trust the process and soon you’ll find your life back on track.
Take your time!
How to deal with emotional breakdown after breakup
Some tips for you on how to deal with an emotional breakdown after a breakup:
- Allow yourself to feel.
- Lean on your support system: friends and family.
- Take care of your body.
- Distract yourself with healthy coping activities.
- Give yourself time.
Do you need more tips to glow up as a freshly single? Read this article.
Depression after breakup symptoms
I think this whole article already answers this question.
How to heal from a breakup when you still love them
Accepting that just because you love someone doesn’t mean they love you back.
And that doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of love.
You just loved the wrong person.
Believe that rejection is just redirection.
You’ll see the proof in the future (even if it takes years to realize it).
How long does breakup depression last
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. It depends on the person, the relationship, and the breakup itself.
The rule of thumb is that the longer you stay in the relationship, the more time you’ll need to recover from breakup depression.
For me, I usually need about half the time I invested in the relationship to fully recover. So if the relationship lasted 8 years, it might take me around 4 years to heal. Thankfully, once I’m done—I’m really done.
There’s no moment of “I wish things were different,” because by that point, my mindset is: “I’m going to make sure everything will be different.”
When you’re in breakup depression, don’t stress about how long it’s gonna take to recover.
Just focus on getting through today.
If you can make it through the day without crying, that’s a win.
Dealing with breakup depression is honestly a mix of throwing yourself a little pity party and going on a new adventure.
So yeah, let yourself cry and feel it all, but also start trying new things, even little ones, to keep life interesting (and maybe meet new people along the way).
Depression after breakup with narcissist
I’ll be real with you: I’ve never dated a narcissist.
Why?
Because I can smell them from a mile away.
How do I have that superpower?
Well… my mom is a narcissist.
Loving a narcissist every day messes with your head. You start doubting your worth. That kind of emotional wound sticks with you for years—decades, even.
After my mom left me and my dad, I carried this painful thought around: “Even your own mom didn’t want to stay. Why would anyone else?”
It made me look grateful on the outside, but deep down, I was settling for crumbs.
It affected everything: my decisions, my self-worth, my dating life.
While other people were chasing careers, I often thought, “What’s the point? No one’s proud of me anyway.” Even though I knew I had so much potential.
In relationships, if a guy was just a little bit nice—but not really what I wanted—I’d tell myself, “Hey, at least someone loves me.”
That’s how low my bar was because I didn’t believe I deserved more.
So, if you’re feeling depressed after breaking up with a narcissist, I get it.
My advice? Learn these two words: self-respect.
Unfortunately, having self-respect doesn’t come easy after being gaslighted for who knows how long in a relationship with a narcissist.
Your journey to self-respect starts with understanding what happened to you. Read It’s Not You by Dr. Ramani Durvasula; it’ll help you see the big picture and untangle the damage you’ve been dealing with.
Power of silence after break up
Sometimes, you said the most through silence. After a breakup, silence can be your best revenge. Click here to learn everything about the power of silence after a breakup.
