Finding Strength in the Power of Silence After a Breakup

Want to know how to use the power of silence to deal with a broken heart? This is a tested way to cope with breaking up that works better than oversharing on social media.

Watching someone you love walk away from your life is difficult — especially if you’ve been together for a long time and think you’ve found “the one.”

There’s no easy way to deal with a breakup. I’ve been through this three times in my adult life, so trust me, I know how it feels.

Engaging in the silent treatment after a breakup might sound counterintuitive because your heart feels like it’s about to explode.

After reading this article, you’ll understand why is it better to be silent after a breakup and how to use the magic power of silence to your advantage.

This blog post is all about using the power of silence that every freshly single woman should know about.

What Is the Power of Silence?

We associate communication with our ability to talk. The more you can translate what you’re thinking about into words, the easier your life becomes.

However, sometimes, silence is more powerful than words.

When you have just broken up with someone, you have a lot to digest: accepting your new single status, processing your emotions, gaining clarity about what to do next, and learning from your failed relationship.

Silence will create space for you to do all that.

As Ronan Keating said in his song, “You say the best when you say nothing at all.”

Ghosting Versus Silence After a Breakup: Are They the Same?

No, they’re not.

Going with no contact after a breakup is different from ghosting.  

Ghosting is when someone disappears from a relationship without closure. If you’ve been ghosted, you feel confused because you’re not sure what happened in the relationship.

On the other hand, when you choose to be silent after a breakup, everything is already clear. The relationship is over. That’s a closure. You don’t say a word because there’s nothing else to say.

Why Silence Is Best After a Breakup?

When you cut your finger, you’ll let the wound sit to give it time to heal.

This is the same logic you use when you’re brokenhearted. You let your pain sit to give yourself time to recover.

That’s why radio silence is important.

You don’t have time to heal if you keep checking up on your ex on social media, chatting with him, or even meeting him in person. When you see his face, you’ll remember all the memories you’ve shared. That will make you sad, and you’ll end up crying again.

So, is it better to be silent after a breakup? Yes, it is. Although it’s difficult, silence and no contact are what we need most after a breakup.

When you’re processing your emotions, you do a lot of deep thinking. You can’t do that if you’re busy chatting with your ex.

After all, what do you want to talk about with your ex?

The beauty of the relationship you once had?

If it were that beautiful, there would have been no breakup!

Don’t waste your time on something meaningless like that.

10 Benefits of the Power of Silence After Being Dumped.

1. It gives you space to process your emotions.

After a breakup, you’ll feel the urge to contact your ex. You’ll want him to know what you’re going through sadness, disappointment, feeling unworthy, etc.

Or you might want to “check on him” to make sure he’s okay.

All these reactions are normal but useless.

You don’t need to tell your ex what you’re going through. It’s not rocket science to say that you’ll be sad after being dumped. The fact that he chose to leave the relationship shows that something is more important to him than your tears.

You also don’t need to check on him. Your ex is an adult, and he must take care of himself. The same thing applies to you: It’s time to focus on yourself.

Staying silent is the best way to do so.

2. Strengthens your inner voice

When we’re in a relationship, we tend to adjust to our partners to make things work. Sometimes, we don’t take the time to check on ourselves and ask ourselves what we want.

Unfortunately, you can’t hear and talk at the same time.

If you keep talking about your pain, you can’t hear the most important voice in your life: your inner voice. The power of silence after break up is that it redirects your attention inside you so that you can see what you really want.

One tool that you can use to reconnect with your inner voice is mindfulness. You don’t need to be a spiritual junkie to apply mindfulness in your life. You just need to stop scrolling, take a pause, and listen.

Practically, you decide to do nothing. You can do this while enjoying your morning coffee, commuting, or after lunch.

Set a timer for one minute and learn to enjoy the stillness. First, you’ll hear nothing, and that one minute will feel like forever. But keep practicing. Notice the thoughts that pop up in your mind when you stay still.

After a while, you’ll start to hear your inner voice. Listen to what it says, as it’s the key to your happiness. I suggest that you read Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck. It will be worth your time!

3. Prevents manipulation of your words.

Now that everything is over between you and your ex, you don’t need any drama.

No more “you said” versus “I said.”

This is especially true if your partner gaslighted you, made you question your judgment, or loved to use your words against you.

It’s over.

Silence gives you the space to focus on your life without seeking anyone’s approval. After taking a break and stepping back for a while, you’ll start to reconnect with yourself. You might be surprised to discover how much you’ve sacrificed for the relationship. And if the relationship didn’t make you happy, what was the point of all those sacrifices?

4. Makes you feel empowered and confident.

Have you ever talked to someone who paused between sentences? How did you feel? I bet the silence made you pay more attention.

Pausing during a conversation shows people that you’re serious about what you’re saying. When you put this into action, you’ll feel empowered and confident. It shows that you value yourself and that others will take you seriously.

By keeping your actions private, you give yourself time to rebuild your confidence without worrying about what others think. Your decisions become entirely your own, free from the pressure of comparing yourself to others.

5. Radio silence shows you have self-respect.

When you opt for silence after a breakup, you show yourself that it’s okay to be alone. You’re a strong woman who can take care of herself.

You don’t need to show the world that you’re in pain. You don’t need others’ validation. You enjoy your own company. You’re busy doing the inner work and taking steps toward creating a new life.

If someone wants to be part of your life, he’d better bring something good to the table. Otherwise, you’ll choose to remain single.

This attitude is self-respect in action.

6. Zero Contact will help you move on once and for all.

How do you feel when you look at your ex’s picture right after a breakup?

Do you feel butterflies in your stomach?

If so, here’s a trick: Out of sight, out of mind.

You’ve been through a lot. There’s no need to stay up to date on what he’s doing. It offers no benefit to you.

Zero contact will help you stop thinking about your ex and start forward to the future.

7. The power of silence will give you time to self-exploration.

Now that you’re alone, it’s time to give your life a makeover.

Sometimes we let our lives flow without really thinking about it. If you say, “Things just happen,” a lot, it might be time to slow down and take control of your life.

To help you get started, here are some questions you should ask yourself:

• What kind of life do I want?
• What makes me happy?
• If I didn’t have to worry about money or what people think, how would I live my life?
• What lessons did I learn from this relationship?
• What kind of partner will align with my dream life?

If you think seriously about these questions, you might learn something about yourself. This will help you redirect your focus from crying over your ex to realizing that the breakup is the start of something new.

8. To find strength in your silence, you must make yourself your top priority.

Now that you’re single, it’s time to make yourself your top priority.

Choose whatever you want to eat at a restaurant, hang out with anyone you like, and travel to a new destination. When you meet new people, you realize life isn’t over just because of one breakup.

Of course, be mindful when choosing your activity. Always keep your safety in mind.

Also, prioritizing yourself isn’t about having fun all day every day. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is learn a new skill, work out, and eat your vegetables.

Be responsible in anything you choose to do.

9. Reminds you that you can be independent.

Do you know someone who’s in a relationship but who can’t have a deep conversation with their partner and who feels lonely as a result?

On the other hand, you might know a single who seems to enjoy their life even though they don’t have a romantic partner.

This is the enigma of life.

Which one are you? Well, you can be both.

You can be lonely if you choose the wrong partner.

You can live a fulfilling life when you’re single.

Or, you can enjoy the best of both worlds by having a happy relationship.

It all depends on what you want for your life. Applying the power of silence when you’re recovering from a broken heart will show what you’re capable of doing as a single.

When you’re an independent woman, the next time you have a partner, you will have chosen him because you want him and not because you need him.

10. Allow you to heal at your own pace.

When you remain quiet after a breakup, you can heal at your own pace. 

You won’t get triggered when you see a random woman get engaged on Instagram.

I’ve had 3 severe broken hearts in my adult life, and I’ve found that it takes half of the relationship length to recover. So, if I was in the relationship for 5 years, I’d need 2.5 years to feel okay. That’s a lot of time and work to do.

Getting into a relationship is no joke. It takes a lot of time to make it work. So, I don’t seek a “padding man” to fill the void. The next partner I chose had better be worth my effort.

How Can You Establish the Power of Silence after Break Up with Boyfriend?

1. Unfollow, block, and delete your ex’s accounts.

Creating space to focus on your healing journey isn’t complicated. You just need to recognize and eliminate the triggers.

In a world full of buzz and notifications, the main culprits are social media and phone contact. If you want to find strength in the power of silence after a breakup, unfollow your ex’s accounts on social media.

You must also delete your ex’s contact information and ensure that he can’t contact you via WhatsApp and other chatting apps.

2. Avoid your ex at all costs.

This can mean different things to different people.

For some people, choosing different coffee shops, restaurants, or malls to avoid running into their exes is enough.

However, if you and your ex are co-workers, this can be tricky. You might need to consider finding a new job.

It’s easy to avoid your ex physically. The challenging task is to remove your ex from your mind. To do this, you must declutter your space physically and digitally.

Remove everything that reminds you of your ex. Delete all the photos, give away the plushy he gave you on Valentine’s Day, etc.

3. Cut off all contact with your ex’s friends and family.

When you’re in a committed relationship for a long time, a breakup means cutting ties with the people around you whom you know because of your ex.

This includes his friends and family.

You don’t want to hang out with them after the relationship is over. You don’t need to hear an update about your ex from them. Plus, the worst thing you can do is ask your ex’s people about him. This will make you look a little desperate and pathetic.

Fortunately, this situation is temporary. Later, when you regain your strength, you can reconnect with some of them if you genuinely like them.

4. Express your feelings both verbally and in a journal.

The aftermath of a breakup can be an emotional time, and you must have a place to vent those emotions. If you bottle them up, you won’t heal. It’s like dragging rotten potato sacks everywhere. It’s toxic!

To process your emotions, you must express what you feel verbally and on paper.

You can talk about your pain with friends and family. They are the best choice for getting things off your chest, but they probably don’t have the skills to help you unpack the lessons you can learn from what happened. If you need further help, you should consider talking to a therapist or dating coach.

Additionally, you can write your feelings in a journal. Writing lets you slow down and think about what you’re going to say. Plus, when you finally heal, you can read your journal and see how far you’ve come.

5. Create a daily routine for yourself.

When you’re brokenhearted, the only thing you want to do is snuggle under your blanket and cry all day. Sure, you have the right to do that. But if you do it for too long, you’ll get stuck in a vicious cycle of misery.

You can rely on your willpower to get yourself out of your bedroom. But there’s a secret weapon that can help you make progress without even thinking about it: routine.

Routine gives structure to your life. Working a regular job is a good start because you must get out to go to work. Then, you can add more habits that help you heal and uplevel yourself, such as exercising, reading books, and writing in a journal.

If you work from home or have a flexible schedule, set a routine to help you win. You should set both morning and evening routines.

For the morning routine, decide what time you want to wake up, what you will do after you wake up, etc. Setting an evening routine will signal to your brain that the day is over and it’s time to wind down.

6. Practice self-compassion.

Finding strength in silence after a breakup isn’t easy. Some days, you might feel like a loser. Those are the times when you must show compassion to yourself.

It will take some time before you stop crying over your ex. Feel free to write about your feelings in your journal, multiple times if necessary.

Your brain might know that your ex isn’t worth your time, but your heart will heal at its own pace. 

Needing time to heal doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you have a sensitive heart.

Honor it.

Unfortunately, It Will Still Be Painful…

People might think that you’re okay because you choose to be silent now that you’re single again. But the pain is still there.

The process of soothing your heart is difficult.

There will be grief.

You will feel inadequate.

Your confidence might take a nose dive.

This emotional turmoil is part of the process of mending your heart. It’s normal. Take one day at a time.

Whenever you feel like it’s impossible to move on, remember that millions of people have been through what you’re going through. If they made it to the other side, so can you!