How to Stop Crying After a Breakup: No More Tears on Your Pillow

Going through a breakup is brutal! If you end up in this article, chances are your pillow’s already soaked in tears. I bet it’s been a while since you’ve been wondering how to stop crying after a breakup. Well, you’re in the right place!

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As someone who’s been through this situation three times, I want to help you figure out how to stop crying after a breakup without pretending everything’s fine or rushing your healing process.

Here, you’ll learn about things not to do after a breakup, how to deal with a breakup alone, and how to heal from a breakup when you still love them.

That sounds like everything you need right now, don’t you think?

But that’s not all.

You’ll also understand the signs you’re healing from a breakup, so you’ll know you’re ready to start a new life.

This post is all about how to stop crying after a breakup and help you come out the other side stronger than ever!

How to Stop Crying After a Breakup by Avoiding These Key Things Not to Do After a Breakup

Those first few days (or weeks) after a breakup are the worst.

Your mind’s all over the place; honestly, you’re not exactly thinking straight.

That’s when you’re most likely to do something impulsive or straight-up dumb that you’ll regret later.

To save you from trouble, let’s talk about 5 things you really don’t wanna do after a breakup:

1. Don’t play the “good ex” by checking in.

Being kind and showing you care might earn you respect or even a second chance. But let’s be real: being a “good ex” is useless if it costs your peace. It only slows down your healing. Your ex is a grown adult. Let them take responsibility for their own life. Save your time, energy, and emotional bandwidth for yourself.

2. That revenge plan you have for your ex? Save it.

At least for now. I get it, you’re angry, hurt, and want them to feel it. But acting on it while emotions are high could wreck your future. Jail time or life regrets aren’t worth it. Let yourself cool down first. Later, when you’re calmer, revisit that plan. Odds are, it won’t even feel worth it anymore.

3. Don’t rush into another relationship.

Jumping into something new just to fill the void rarely works. Take your time to sit with your feelings, reflect, and heal. A rebound relationship might feel good temporarily, but it can complicate your emotional recovery.

4. Don’t badmouth your ex to everyone.

Sure, venting to a trusted friend helps. But constantly dragging your ex in every convo can keep you stuck in bitterness. Rise above the drama. Your peace is more important than being right.

5. Don’t blame yourself for everything.

It’s easy to replay every moment and wonder what you did wrong. But relationships end because of two people, not just one. Be kind to yourself. Learn from it, but don’t carry the whole weight alone.

How to Deal with a Breakup Alone? 10 Tips for You!

Crying after a breakup is normal. There’s nothing to be ashamed of about it. Here are 10 tips to help you deal with it.

1. Notice the Breakdown, Let It Out

You can sense when you’re about to have an emotional breakdown. Your hands shake, your eyes become watery, your breath shortens, your heart races, and it’s hard to breathe.

Common signs include crying, shouting, trembling, or curling up to comfort yourself.

If you’re at work, go to the restroom to give yourself space to cry. Do your best not to shout at others; having a meltdown doesn’t give you the right to attack people. 

When you’re at home, you can express your emotions more freely. You can play music loudly to hide the shouting or crying. Sometimes, you also feel the need to hide.

I personally like to cry in the corner of my room (behind the door) or under the table. I make myself comfortable by bringing my pillow and blanket to my chosen safe space.

Do you need someone to accompany you?

It depends on your personality. An introvert like me prefers to be alone during difficult times. I might share my low moments, but only after I’ve overcome the pain.

However, if you need company, choose a trusted friend or family member who won’t judge you and can help ensure you don’t hurt yourself.

2. Breathe Deeply to Regain Control

When emotions hit like a tidal wave, one of the simplest ways to calm yourself is breathing. It’s amazing how paying attention to your breathing can calm your nerves. 

Here’s a simple breathing exercise to try:

1. Find a comfortable position. You can do it while sitting, lying down on a bed, or even standing up while commuting.
2. Don’t play music or listen to an audiobook. If you need some white noise, try playing calming instrumental music to help you focus on your breathing. You can also close your eyes if you’d like.
3. Take a deep breath through your nose and count to four. Feel how your belly expands like a balloon.
4. Hold your breath and count to three.
5. Release your breath through your mouth while counting to four.

Keep doing this exercise for a minute or two until you notice your heartbeat slowing down. The longer you practice this breathing exercise, the clearer your mind will feel.

You don’t have to wait for a low moment to do this exercise. Challenge yourself to practice it for just 5 minutes a day and notice how it impacts your mental health.

3. Hum, Sing, or Chant to Soothe Your Mind

Do you know why a mother always chants in a cheerful tone or sings happily when her baby is crying?

Because a happy tone can calm the baby.

It’s the same reason babies or kids tend to cry during a heated argument. Babies don’t understand what the adult is saying, but they feel the negative energy.

This trick is also for adults to calm down and distract their minds. Here are several ways to calm yourself with your voice:

• Humming. Choose a happy tune that triggers positive memories in your brain. “Jingle Bells”—yes, a Christmas song—might be a good choice. Feel free to pick a different song or tone that suits your mood.
• Singing. When you’re feeling down, you need a pick-me-up song. I love tracks that give me the strength to fight, like “Roar” by Katy Perry or “I Can’t Wait to Be King” by The Lion King. Even better, create a Spotify playlist of all your go-to empowering songs, and it will be ready whenever you need it.
• Chanting. Pick a simple affirmation to calm yourself. If you’re feeling sad, say, “(Your Name), I know you’re sad, but everything will be okay.” Speaking to yourself in the third person can remind you that you’re not alone.

4. Find the Trigger and Remove It

An emotional breakdown doesn’t happen out of the blue. There’s always a trigger that pushes you to your breaking point. Once you start feeling better, take time to analyze what triggered your breakdown in the first place.

A plushie from your ex that you got last Valentine’s Day.

Seeing a couple enjoying each other’s company.

Hearing “your song,” which brings back memories of your ex.

Certain habits remind you of how things used to be.

From experience, you can eliminate most triggers of heartbreak by decluttering your mind and physical and digital spaces.

You can donate or throw away anything that reminds you of your broken heart. Don’t hesitate to delete old pictures, refresh your Instagram grid, and mute your ex or his friends to avoid unnecessary emotional triggers.

You’re your top priority.

The good news is that you don’t have to mute others forever. You just need some quiet time to regain your strength. Later, if you want to reconnect, you can.

5. Shake It Off 

Do you know why dogs love to shake their bodies when life feels like too much (hello, grooming session)? Because it feels good!

That’s why you always feel better after working out. Body movement triggers endorphins, also known as happy hormones, which reduce stress and improve your mood. It’s like a form of meditation in motion.

Let’s use it to our advantage.

You can join a yoga class or follow a full-body wall Pilates workout using a YouTube video as part of your daily or weekly routine.

If you just need a quick boost during the day, blast your favorite empowering song (told you that Spotify playlist would come in handy!) and dance it out.

Even a minute or two of goofy dancing can get your blood flowing and lift your mood.

What if the breakdown hits in the middle of a work meeting or while you’re stuck in traffic?

Here’s a simple hack: Pop a piece of gum or candy. Chewing gives your body a tiny physical release, distracting your mind and easing tension. Combine it with singing or humming for better results.

6. Create a Vision Board

The first five tips are practical things you can do when a breakdown hits you. But that’s not enough to make you grow stronger.

You need a vision board to direct your life and remind yourself that life is so much more than just a breakup. This simple yet powerful tool will help you realize that life isn’t over just because your relationship ended.

Instead of wondering, “What would my life be like if we hadn’t broken up?” shift your focus. Ask yourself, “Now that I have the freedom to live my life, what do I want it to look like?”

Let your imagination run wild, and don’t worry about the how.

Start by making a list of what you want your life to look like, then find pictures that represent your future vision. Beyond material things, include emotional words like “peace” or “empowerment,” and add inspiring quotes that resonate with you.

Gather all those pictures in one place and display them where you’ll see them every day. This creates a visual anchor and gives you a sense of purpose. Your happy life is out there, waiting for you to claim it.

7. Journal to Process Your Emotion

Every day, your mind is like a tangled ball of yarn consisting of thoughts, emotions, random memories from the past, and more. Writing in a journal is like grabbing the loose thread and slowly unraveling the chaos.

When you ink your thoughts, you’ll slow down, breathe, and process what’s going on inside your head. Challenge yourself to dig deeper by asking questions like, What’s the real reason I feel so overwhelmed? or What’s one thing I can do today to feel just 1% better?

These aren’t questions we casually ask ourselves, but you might be surprised by what they can uncover.

Journaling isn’t about perfection; it’s about reflection. And the beauty is, there’s no right or wrong way to do it.

When I first went through a breakup, I journaled every day. Now that my emotions have settled and my life is heading in the direction I want, I journal once a month or whenever my heart calls me to do so.

The pile of my old journals also stands as a witness to how far I’ve come, giving me a sense of pride.

8. Reconnect with Yourself and Others Through Touch and Shared Moments

Dealing with an emotional breakdown can make you feel isolated. You start to see the world from a “you vs. the world” perspective. If you catch someone laughing, your first thought is that they’re laughing at you.

Living your life this way is like torturing yourself.

In this state, connecting with others can help you feel less lonely. Spend time with people you love, listen to their stories, pay attention to their facial expressions, and, best of all, laugh with them.

If you’re by yourself and everyone is busy, even giving your pet a belly rub can have the same effect as hanging out with humans.

However, there’s one person who can help you heal your deepest wound: your inner child. Take a look at a photo of yourself as a child, look her in the eye, and see what comes to mind.

Don’t be surprised if you become emotional and cry. Allow yourself to feel those emotions. Do you have something you want to say to her?

According to Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck, reconnecting with your inner child and giving her what she wants is the secret to a happy life.

Once you can look at a childhood photo and feel good about it, you’ll notice something shifting within yourself.

9. Spend Time in Nature for a Mental Reset

I never take getting outside seriously. I used to work out indoors and run on the treadmill. During the 2020 pandemic, when gyms were closed, I realized a community park in my apartment complex had a jogging track that I had never used.

I started with a 20-minute walk in the park and have never stopped since. Now, going outside is part of my daily routine. One thing I’ve realized: I’m never in a bad mood after spending time outside.

When you’re outside, you can see the sky, surrounded by trees, and breathe in fresh air. Nature has a way of putting things in perspective: your problem is just a piece of a big universe.

Sure, your heartbreak is painful, but you’ll get through it and continue with your life.

You don’t have to be adventurous to enjoy the benefits of being outside. Whether you go hiking or simply take a walk around the block, it will refresh your mind.

If you want to take it a step further, try “earthing.” Walk barefoot on grass or soil—commonly called “earthing”—to connect directly with the earth. It helps ground your emotions and brings a calming sense of balance.

Does this idea seem too “out there” for you?

Don’t jump to conclusions too quickly. Take some time to read Earthing by Clinton Ober, which shares fascinating research and real-life testimonials about how connecting yourself to the Earth can benefit your health.

10. Laugh as Much as You Can

A good laugh can completely shift your mood and also heal your soul.

Don’t believe me?

Have you ever had a long day, come home, pet your furry friend, shared a laugh, and instantly felt better?

Or you catch up with old friends, share a good laugh, and suddenly your life feels brighter?

Unfortunately, when you wonder how to stop crying after a breakup, laughing is the last thing you want to do. You need all the help you can get.

Hanging out with pets is always a great option – it doesn’t even have to be your own. Offering to dog-sit or cat-sit can be a perfect way to get that much-needed dose of joy.

Another great way to get a good laugh is by hanging out with a funny friend or watching a comedy movie or TV show.

Humor can distract you from your pain. It’s like hitting the refresh button for your brain. However, it’s not enough to change your life. Later, when you’ve gathered yourself again, you can reflect on what happened and figure out your next steps.

How Do You Know You Need Professional Help?

Figuring out how to stop crying after a breakup isn’t always easy, and recognizing when you need professional help can be even harder.

Here are 5 signs that it might be time to seek support from a therapist or counselor to help you cope and start healing:

• You can’t function in daily life: You are struggling to get out of bed, go to work, or handle basic tasks.
• You’re overwhelmed by negative emotions: Constant sadness, anger, or anxiety that you can’t seem to control.
• You’re isolating yourself: Avoiding friends, family, and social activities for weeks or months.
• You’re unable to stop thinking about the breakup: Obsessively replaying thoughts or rehashing the relationship.
• You’re experiencing physical symptoms: Persistent fatigue, headaches, or changes in appetite and sleep patterns.

However, the most important sign is what your heart is telling you. If you feel the need for professional support, allow yourself to seek it.

Getting professional help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign that you respect your feelings and those around you. 

When You Finally Figure Out How to Stop Crying Over a Breakup: Signs You’re Healing from a Breakup

People say healing is a process. Some say, “Just focus on the journey.”

But hey, every journey’s gotta lead somewhere, right?

Eventually, you wanna feel like you’ve actually moved on and can start a new chapter.

The real question is: how do you know you’re healing for real?

Let’s talk about 5 signs you’re healing from a breakup and ready for a new adventure.

1. You don’t cry every night anymore.

Sure, the tears still show up sometimes, but they’re not running the show like they used to. You’ve started finding peace in quiet moments instead of spiraling into sadness.

2. You’re not checking their social media 24/7.

Remember when stalking their Instagram felt like a full-time job? Now, you barely think about it, and even if you do peek, it doesn’t sting like before.

3. You start thinking about the future.

Instead of being stuck in “what could’ve been,” you’re starting to ask “what’s next for me?” You might even be creating a vision board or writing down goals. Now you wake up in the morning knowing that good things wait for you in the corner.

4. You can tell your love story without teary eyes and even laugh about it.

You’re not avoiding the memories anymore. In fact, you can tell the story like it’s just a part of your past, maybe even with a chuckle at how dramatic it all felt back then.

5. You can explain what lessons you learned from the failed relationship.

It’s not just pain anymore. It’s perspective. You’ve picked up wisdom, self-awareness, and new standards. That’s a reflection of you leveling up.

How to Heal from a Breakup When You Still Love Them? You’re Going to Be Okay

Sometimes, a relationship ends even when you’re still in love.

Arguably, that kind of heartbreak hits harder than breaking up with someone you can’t stand. It’s messy, painful, and can feel like your world has just flipped upside down.

The good news is you can heal from this.

You must balance feeling your pain, distracting yourself, and taking small steps to change things up. If you take too much on one thing, your progress won’t be good.

The fact that you have read up to this point means you take your mental health seriously, and that’s a great start.

Life may feel hard right now, but things will get better. In the coming months or years, you’ll look back on this moment and feel proud of how far you’ve come.

Take care!  

Power of silence after break up

Silence can be your best friend during the healing process. I’ve written a comprehensive article titled The Power of Silence After a Breakup: Why It’s the Best Revenge.

Feel free to check it out here.

What to do after a breakup for a girl

Heartbreak doesn’t care about gender, it hits everyone. This article should be enough to answer your questions about how to deal with a broken heart, whether you’re a woman or a man.

What to do after a break up of a long-term relationship

Pretty much the same as what I’ve shared in this article. The only difference is, if it were a long-term relationship, the recovery usually takes longer ’cause the wounds cut a bit deeper.