25 Tips for Dating After Breakup for Women in Late 30s

Dating after a breakup in your late 30s isn’t easy.

Right now, you know that good relationships aren’t only romantic pictures in your Instagram grid.

Your partner is someone you share your life with, including during your lowest moments. When you pick the wrong one, your life can turn into misery in no time.

But don’t worry; you’ve landed in the right place.

This article will give you 25 dating tips for women in their late 30s that will help you get your dating groove back.

Scroll down to get the best tips.

Then you can prepare some cute date-night outfits, put on your makeup, practice your best smile, and be ready to play the dating game once more.

You’ve got this!

25 Essential Rules to Find Love Again in the Late 30s

Dating Rule #1: Let go of your emotions.

Getting through a breakup triggers many emotions such as unwanted, sadness, anger, resentment, etc.

You will feel lonely from time to time, particularly when you lie down alone on your bed.

If the breakup frees you from a toxic relationship, you might also feel relief that you’re finally alone.

All the emotions you feel are valid.

Before you start dating, you must process all those emotions. One of the ways to release your emotions is to feel them.

This is obvious, I know, but it might not be as scary as you think. Set your timer for 5 minutes, and sit still. Let your emotions arise. You might feel the urge to cry, scream, talk to a friend, or hit something. (Hit a pillow!)

Do whatever you want to let your emotions go.

Writing also helps you process your emotions. By writing, you can sense your emotions because you must slow down to catch your feelings and put them on paper.

You can write your emotions in a journal.

Or you can write a letter to yourself. Write down everything that pops into your mind. When you’re done, burn the letter to make sure nobody reads it.

You might need several sessions of crying, talking, and journaling. The deeper the pain, the longer the time you’ll need to process the emotion.

Dating Rule #2: You are your TOP priority.

When you are broken-hearted, you must prioritize your need to heal.

Set your environment to help you heal.

What if you have kids or elderly parents who need you?

You’re still your TOP priority.

If you don’t function well, you can’t be a good mother or daughter. Healing from a breakup takes time. That’s why it’s ok to ask for help from others such as hiring a babysitter or caretaker to create some space for yourself.

Dating Rule #3: Learn your lesson from a failed relationship.

When get back to the dating game after a breakup, it’s crucial to reflect on what happened.

Maybe you realized the importance of effective communication or the value of setting boundaries.

Or you might prefer someone who shares your love for spontaneous road trips rather than one who enjoys “Netflix and chill”.

This contemplation process is important to give you insight into what you’re looking for in your future relationship. Recognize patterns or behaviors that led to problems. You can use this knowledge to make better choices moving forward.

Dating Rule #4: Be sure of what you’re looking for.

When you’re getting back into the dating game in your late 30s after a breakup, it’s important to be clear about what you’re looking for in a potential partner and relationship. If you don’t have a relationship goal, you’ll waste time with people who aren’t on the same page as you.

To give you some ideas, here are some relationship goals you must set:

What are you looking for in your next relationship?

You might want someone to have fun with but who is not ready to commit to a long term relationship. Or you want a deep connection to enrich your life for years to come. Set whatever goal suits your needs.

Pick three characteristics you want in a partner, and stick to them.

Now that you know what you’re looking for in your next relationship, you can determine what characteristics you want in a partner.

If you’re looking for a hookup partner, you might be more likely to find someone fun, open-minded, risk-taking, and adventurous.

On the other hand, if you’re seeking a long-term partner, you need something more meaningful, such as being kind, trustworthy, and reliable and having a compatible lifestyle.

With different relationship goals, you’ll end up with different individuals. That’s why knowing what you’re looking for is necessary before you start getting dates. The worst thing you can do is date someone to have fun and expect the spark to turn into a long-lasting marriage.

Determine your boundaries and deal-breakers.

The type of relationship you want will lead to different boundaries and deal-breakers.

For a hookup partner, your boundary might be not hooking up with coworkers. And your deal-breaker might be a round belly because it turns you off sexually. Things are usually more simple for hookup relationships.

For a future husband, your boundary might be not dating someone who doesn’t take their financial well-being seriously. Your deal-breaker might be a different religion from your own.

Dating Rule #5: Start whenever you are ready.

When it comes to jumping back into the dating scene after a breakup in your late 30s, you can start whenever you are ready. There’s no right or wrong timeline for moving on after a breakup.

However, some signs you might be ready to mingle are:

You’re emotionally ready to move on. No more crying while thinking about your ex.
You don’t use dating as a way to distract yourself from pain.
The thought of going on a date makes you feel excited.

Dating Rule #6: Set reasonable expectations.

When you’re getting back into the dating game in your late 30s, you know that a relationship plays a big role in determining your happiness or misery.

Roses, chocolate, and teddy bears don’t matter. What you need is commitment, mutual respect, and emotional connection. Understanding these aspects of a partner takes time and shared experiences.

Therefore, you must set the right expectations to prepare for your love quest. Here’s a friendly reminder of what to keep in mind:

Healthy relationships take hard work: Building a meaningful connection is not always a walk in the park. It takes time and effort to go on multiple dates until you find the one who clicks with you the most.
Forget the Cinderella approach to love: Let go of the idea of love at first sight or other rom-com things. Real-life love is about listening, empathy, compromise, and unconditional support.
Take things slow: Rushing into a new relationship can lead to a rebound relationship that simply distracts you from the pain. Take the time to build a strong foundation for your next relationship.

These reasonable expectations can help you navigate the dating scene with a bit more ease and hopefully lead you to a relationship that’s just right for you.

Dating Rule #7: Have fun with your single life!

I don’t advise you to party every night, though!

Having fun as an adult is about looking after yourself.

Simply look at yourself in the mirror and say, “[Your Name], I love you.”

It sounds silly, but after the first time, I genuinely looked myself in the eye and said,” I love you,” I cried. I kept doing that and, after a month, I felt better about my life.

Also, find reasons to laugh. Laughter heals the soul and lifts the spirit.

Some activities that a single in their late 30s can do to have fun are trying new hobbies, traveling, pampering themselves, expanding their social circle, going outside, etc.

When you’re on the journey to finding new love, happiness should be your guide. If something feels off, it’s time to reassess.

Dating Rule #8: Expand your social circle.

Whether you realize it or not, we all live in very limited social circles. Some factors – like where we live affect where we go to school and, hence, who our schoolmates are. And that’s our social circle.

No wonder, most of us end up marrying someone we knew when we were young. There’s nothing wrong with that. But when we’re single (again), why don’t we use this opportunity to meet new people from a circle we never knew before?

Take this approach as a new adventure in life. Meeting people from different walks of life can enrich your perspective.

Plus, socializing can boost your confidence and social skills, making you more comfortable and charismatic in dating scenarios. These skills will quickly come in handy.

When you hang out with your new circle, you don’t need to face the pressure to find dates. Just mingle, share stories, listen to others, and enjoy the experience.

Soon, your dates will take care of themselves.

Dating Rule #9: Be open and honest from the start.

When you’re getting to know someone new, being open and honest from the get-go is a must. It gives you a solid foundation in case the coffee date turns into a long-term commitment.

Here are some areas where honesty is crucial right from the start:

Don’t lie about your age. Let your date decide whether they’ll take it or leave it.
Be honest about your status, whether you are single, a single mom, or a divorcee.
Declare what you’re looking for in the relationship: casual dating, a serious partner, or someone to co-parent your kid.

You might be thinking, ‘But, those serious topics might scare a date off. Shouldn’t I let the ball roll and save the difficult questions for later?’

Nope!

You should bring up these topics early to save everyone time and avoid misunderstandings. The right person will see your truth and stay with you.

If you’re not on the same page, you can wish each other the best and part ways.

Dating Rule #10: Never complain about your ex.

Complaining about your ex can be a major turn-off for your dates. It makes you seem stuck in the past and unable to move on, which is not the vibe you want to give off on your first date. Keep the conversation light and positive to make a good impression.

When you’re dating, you should talk about your work, your hobbies, trending topics on social media, etc. Pick a topic that showcases your personality and inspires your date to want to learn more about you.

But sooner or later, the topic of an ex will come up. What should you do about it?

You can tell the truth while staying respectful and stressing the lesson you learned from your previous relationship. In doing so, you’ll show that you’re mature, respectful, and ready to move forward in a positive way.

Dating Rule #11: Don’t compare your date with your ex.

This is another major turn-off. It’s a recipe for a relationship disaster.

First and foremost, nobody likes being compared to someone else.

Imagine that your date said, “Oh, my ex was sexier than you.”

Ouch!

Second, every person is unique. Allow your date to be themselves, without the shadow of your past relationship.

Last but not least, comparing your date to your ex, even if you keep it to yourself, can be incredibly painful and unproductive. You might miss out on getting to know someone amazing.

One thing to remember is: If your ex was truly right for you, he wouldn’t be your ex.

Now, that you’re on the mission of finding the love of your life, leave your ex where he belongs – in the past. Focus on the person in front of you and enjoy the experience!

Dating Rule #12: Don’t date someone for the sake of dating.

When you’re brokenhearted, dealing with loneliness is a real thing. You feel it the most when you lie down alone on your bed. You’ll wish you had someone to hold during the night.

That’s why getting dates to fill the void is so common.

You could call it ”finding a hookup partner.”

Or a one-night stand.

It all comes down to one thing: You don’t want to be alone, so you grab the nearest guy you can get.

Dating someone for the sake of dating often leads to settling for less than you deserve. You might overlook red flags or ignore your gut feeling that something isn’t right. Don’t be surprised if this leads to another unhealthy relationship.

Dating Rule #13: Watch out for people who want to take advantage of you.

Unfortunately, in the real world, people tend to take advantage of others’ weaknesses. The fact that you’re brokenhearted puts you in a vulnerable position.

In short: Watch out for romance scammers.

These bad folks, hunt people who are desperate for attention, and they use them for money or sex. Stay alert and don’t let yourself be manipulated.

Here are some tips to avoid this when you’re connecting with someone new:

Be careful of sweet talk and love bombing. Connections build over time. If someone says that he’s been waiting for you all his life when you barely know him, run away.
If they ask for money. Don’t be afraid to turn down the request. We’re all adults, and everyone needs to take care of themself.
Be wary if he doesn’t want to engage in face-to-face interaction, specifically in online dating.
If you feel that you don’t know him even though you’ve been chatting for a while, that’s a bad sign.
Another red flag is when your partner doesn’t care about how you feel as long as he gets what he wants.

A great way to avoid being taken advantage of in a relationship is to set clear boundaries. Know what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not, and communicate this directly. If your date doesn’t respect your boundaries, you should move on and find someone who does.

Dating Rule #14: Don’t rush to bed.

When you’re an adult and you split from your partner, one of the first things that might hit you is the lack of someone to get intimate with. It’s part of being a grown-up, and there’s no shame in it.

Once you get close to someone new, you might want to cuddle up and hit the sheets. But rushing into bed might not be a good idea.

First, rushing into physical intimacy can cloud your judgment. When things get hot and heavy too soon, you might overlook red flags or ignore your gut feeling that something isn’t right.

The fact that someone is good in bed doesn’t make them the right partner for you.

So, if you’re not getting laid, what should you do when you’re dating?

You can participate in activities that show different sides of your partner’s personality. Here are some ideas:

Cooking a meal together.
Trying a new outdoor activity. For example, you can enjoy ice cream while walking in the park. See if you can spend hours together without checking on the time.
Visiting a museum or art gallery. Does your partner share your interests? Or is he at least willing to hear your long-winded explanation about why a certain painting is beautiful?
Volunteering for a local charity. You’ll never regret having a kind-hearted partner.
Going to a karaoke night. You can sing and laugh all night long!

This slow approach also avoids unnecessary expectations of the relationship. You can explore your choices, without facing pressure to commit before you’re ready.

Dating Rule #15: Wait before you involve your kids.

This part applies to single moms.

Don’t introduce your kids to your new guy too soon. This is especially true if you aren’t sure about his character. Follow the “Don’t talk to strangers” rule for a while and keep your young children out of your dating life.

Your children are still adjusting to the changes resulting from the breakup. They need a longer time to understand what’s going on and process their emotions. Adding a new person to the mix can make things even more complicated.

How long should you wait before you introduce your new man to your kids?

You can consider introducing them once you can see a future with your partner. When you finally introduce your man to your children, make sure the two of you are aligned in terms of your relationship goals and that your partner will add value to your kids’ lives.

Dating Rule #16: Be patient with chemistry; give the spark time to ignite.

One common myth about finding the love of your life is that you’ll know it the moment you meet them. Thanks to rom-coms, we tend to over-romanticize the story of “how I met my partner” and chase “I know I want to marry you when the first time I saw you.”

This puts so much pressure on your first coffee date.

For perfectionists, this pressure prevents them from going on the date at all, as they want to make sure they have their coffee date with the right person.

Or, if you feel that your first coffee date was only so-so, you might move on to someone else without a second thought.

The truth is, it takes time to build chemistry and find a spark with someone new. You must give a fair shot to each individual to see what he’s all about.

On the other hand, if you feel chemistry right away, you should be careful and slow down the pace. Some people know how to make a great first impression, but true compatibility requires more than a spark.

Compatibility takes time.

Give yourself a chance to get to know the person, look for red flags, see how they handle differences, and so on.

When you meet someone compatible, the spark will ignite naturally and hopefully last forever.

Dating Rule #17: Try out-of-the-box dates.

By your late 30s, you have probably experienced many elements of the typical dating scene like coffee dates, fine dining, movie nights, and classic gifts like chocolates, flowers, and teddy bears.

There’s nothing wrong with that, but once you’ve found your regular person, why not spice things up with out-of-the-box dates?

Here are some ideas:

Indoor skydiving
A painting or pottery class
A ghost tour or haunted house visit
A murder mystery dinner
An escape room challenge
A dance class

These out-of-the-box ideas need some preparation to pull off. You can prepare the date as a team with your partner. Best of all, you’ll add a fun twist to your dating routine while learning about your partner’s character.

Dating Rule #18: Enjoy the dating process.

For women, dating in their late 30s can be stressful. Our biological clock starts ticking, and we don’t have much time to start a family.

This pressure can cause you to lose sight of the joy and excitement of dating.

Rather than worry about the future, remember that dating is a process everyone must get through to find the right partner.

Each date you have is another opportunity to hear people’s stories and learn something new.

Stay present, and have fun; you might find your person when you least expect it.

Dating Rule #19: Raise your dating standard.

Going through a breakup sucks. Sure, you’ve learned your lesson and you can see the bright side. But to prevent the same thing from happening again, you must raise your dating standards.

Find someone who treats you right and values you for who you are.

Of course, to get a better partner, you must become your best self. No eligible bachelor wants to enter a relationship with a woman who whines and complains all day, and who has no goals.

Getting a partner is like looking into a mirror: You’ll attract someone similar to you.

If you don’t like your previous partners, take a look inside and see if you and your previous partners shared the same traits.

Make some changes inside you. Once you do, you’ll get a better person as your partner.

Forget making resolutions, as 98% of people fail in this way. More people see tangible results by developing new habits in their daily routines.

When you follow a new routine, you’ll grow into a different person.

Dating Rule #20: Date many to choose one.

You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.

In this case, you have to date many people to choose one. It has been a while since you mingled in the dating world, so take time to see what’s out there before you pick someone to commit to.

By getting to know several people at once, you’ll get a real confidence boost. You’ll realize that you’re a catch and that plenty of people would love to get to know you better.

I don’t recommend you sleep with many people. Of course, if that’s your thing, who am I to judge? However, ideally, you should approach every date as research to see if the other person is a good fit for your life goals.

Explore all the possibilities while being honest and upfront with everyone you’re dating.

When you finally pick someone, you can give your all to the relationship because you know he’s your best person.

Dating Rule #21: You will reject people, a lot!

If you’re seeing several people at once, you’ll end up rejecting many of them. You have to because you’ll be choosing only one person.

When you reject others, do it clearly. Thank them for their time, wish them good luck, and go your separate ways.

To make it easy, here’s a template. You can tweak it to make it sound like something you would say.

Hey [Name], I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, but I don’t feel like we’re the right match romantically. I wish you all the best in finding someone for your future relationships. Take care!

You can say it in person if you’re not interested in a second date or don’t want to see them again. Or you can text them.

Don’t give mixed signals like saying,” But I think we can be friends,” or something along those lines. You’re giving people empty promises and making it difficult for them to move on.

And please, for the love of God, don’t ghost people. Sending the message above isn’t difficult. Your dates have given their time to you, so they deserve a proper goodbye.

Dating Rule #22: It’s okay to be rejected.

Continuing rule #21.

Dating is a two-way street.

You’re trying to figure out if someone is right for you, and men are doing the same thing. In other words, they’re dating many women in order to choose one.

Therefore, you’ll get rejected no matter what. And some people might choose to ghost you rather than say goodbye properly.

Don’t take it personally. It’s just part of the dating game.

These rejections don’t reflect your worth. The men just happen to prefer someone else as their partner.

The more rejection you face, the closer you are to finding “the one.”

After a day or two, brush it off and move on.

Dating Rule #23: Trust your instincts.

Have you ever gotten the gut feeling that something isn’t right?

That’s what we call “instincts”.

I used to ignore that kind of feeling. Most of the time, I regretted it.

Now, I use my gut as my internal compass.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you should ignore logic entirely. Use your gut as an alarm. When it is triggered, take a step back and reevaluate the situation.

It takes practice to trust your gut in making decisions. The basic way to access your gut is through mindfulness. Be still for 5 minutes or more, with no music. Focus on your breath and listen to your mind.

The more you practice, the more your gut becomes your ally in navigating life.

How do you use your instincts when dating? Here are some of my experiences:

If you use dating apps to meet someone new, pay attention to the words in their profile and when chatting. If someone is always negative, skip them, and talk to the next person.
If don’t feel comfortable when you meet someone new in person, call the date short. You can always reconnect later. For now, prioritize your safety.
If you have met someone several times, pay attention to how this person makes you feel. Are you expansive and happy while hanging out with them? Or does your chest feel tight? Your long-term partner should make you happy when you are around them.

Dating Rule #24: Learn new interpersonal skills to improve the quality of your future relationship.

Honing your emotional intelligence will help you understand your emotions and those of others. This will help you communicate better with the people around you.

You can uplevel this skill by reading books about interpersonal skills, watching videos, and taking online courses.

Practice a new approach to handling disagreements and expressing your thoughts and feelings with those around you, even before you get new dates.

Ask your best friend or family to give feedback.

Be prepared to listen and make changes.

When you act differently, your nearest circle will notice it.

This skill will lead to a healthy and happy relationship in the future. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it in the long run.

Dating Rule #25: See a professional if you need additional support.

Breaking up in the late 30s can take a toll on a woman’s mental health.

Dealing with a broken heart is already challenging. Adding the social pressure to hit certain milestones when you’re approaching 40 makes it worse.

If you feel that you need professional support, please seek it.

Look at it like going to a doctor when you feel physically sick. It’s just the normal thing to do.

When it comes to mental health, many feel that they should handle their problems alone and seek professional help only if things get really bad.

It’s like going to a doctor only when you realize you’re about to die.

Why is going to a therapist beneficial for your mental health?

A therapist or counselor can provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings and emotions. They are professionally trained to offer guidance and support as you navigate the ups and downs of breaking up.

From your stories, a professional can help you identify repeated patterns. This will help you learn new things about your behavior and, more importantly, how to avoid getting stuck in the same pattern.

Once you’re done, you can use the resulting lessons for the rest of your life. Your future self will thank you for that.

Where to Find New Dates for Women in Their Late 30s.

If you are single in your late 30s, your dating pool might have shrunk. Most of the people from your teenage days are already taken, mutual friends are limited, and dating co-workers might not sound ideal to you.

You must be creative in meeting new people and potentially finding that special someone.