10 Steps to Cope with an Emotional Breakdown After a Breakup

People do crazy things when they’re in love—but even crazier when heartbroken.

I know someone who married a random girl he met at a club just so he could get married before his ex did. Now, he’s constantly complaining about his life and trying to get a divorce.

Or my ex-coworker, who slept with any man she could, including clients, after the first man she slept with left her and married someone else. Now, the whole office whispers about her sex life.

Heartbreak often leads to impulsive decisions during an emotional breakdown. In these moments, your first priority is to escape the pain without considering long-term consequences.

Yuck!

In this blog post, you’ll get 10 practical steps to cope with an emotional breakdown after a breakup. Hopefully, this guide will help you navigate this difficult time wisely.

Emotional Meltdown vs Emotional Breakdown

The terms emotional meltdown and emotional breakdown are often used interchangeably but have major differences.

An emotional meltdown happens when you lose control of your emotions.

Have you ever cried after arguing for too long? Or do you feel like the day was too overwhelming, and you ran to the office toilet to cry (I know I’m not alone)?

That’s a simple example of an emotional meltdown.

Typically, nothing serious comes from an emotional meltdown. Once you slow down, remove the trigger, and take a deep breath, you’ll start to feel better.

On the other hand, an emotional breakdown is more serious. It’s similar to an emotional meltdown but is often caused by repeated or ongoing triggers. Emotional breakdowns are usually linked to significant events such as grief from losing a loved one, the end of a long-term relationship, or prolonged exposure to chronic stress.

Because an emotional breakdown occurs over an extended period, its recovery process also takes longer. Don’t be surprised if you need professional help at some point. Without serious effort to heal, you may struggle to function in your daily life.

How to Cope with an Emotional Breakdown

Experiencing an emotional breakdown after a broken heart is normal. There’s nothing to shame about it. Here are 10 tips to help you deal with it.

1. Notice the Breakdown, Let It Out

You can sense when you’re about to have an emotional break down. Your hands shake, your eyes become watery, your breath shortens, your heart races, and it’s hard to breathe.

Common signs include crying, shouting, trembling, or curling up to comfort yourself.

If you’re at work, go to the restroom to give you space to cry. Do your best not to shout at others, having an emotional breakdown doesn’t permit you to attack people. 

When you’re at home, you can express your emotions more freely. You can play music loudly to hide the shouting or crying. Sometimes, you also feel the need to hide.

I personally like to cry in the corner of my room (behind the door) or under the table. I even try to make myself comfortable by bringing my pillow and blanket to my chosen safe space.

Do you need someone to accompany you?

It depends on your personality. An introvert like me prefers to be alone during difficult times. I might share my low moments, but only after I’ve overcome the pain.

However, if you need company, choose a trusted friend or family member who won’t judge you and can help ensure you don’t hurt yourself.

2. Breathe Deeply to Regain Control

When emotions hit like a tidal wave, one of the simplest ways to calm yourself is breathing. It’s amazing how paying attention to your breathing can calm your nerves. 

Here’s a simple breathing exercise to try:

1. Find a comfortable position. You can do it while sitting, lying down on a bed, or even standing up while commuting.
2. Don’t play music or listen to an audiobook. If you need some white noise, try playing calming instrumental music to help you focus on your breathing. You can also close your eyes if you’d like.
3. Take a deep breath through your nose and count to four. Feel how your belly expands like a balloon.
4. Hold your breath and count to three.
5. Release your breath through your mouth while counting to four.

Keep doing this exercise for a minute or two until you notice your heartbeat slowing down. The longer you practice this breathing exercise, the clearer your mind will feel.

You don’t have to wait for an emotional breakdown to do this exercise. Challenge yourself to practice it every day for 5 minutes and see how it affects your mental health.

3. Hum, Sing, or Chant to Soothe Your Mind

Do you know why a mother always chants in a cheerful tone or sings happily when her baby is crying?

Because a happy tone can calm the baby.

It’s the same reason babies or kids tend to cry during a heated argument. Babies don’t understand what’s the adult saying, but they feel the negative energy.

This trick can also help during an emotional breakdown. Here are several ways to calm yourself with your voice:

• Humming. Choose a happy tune that triggers positive memories in your brain. “Jingle Bells”—yes, a Christmas song—might be a good choice. Feel free to pick a different song or tone that suits your mood.
• Singing. When you’re feeling down, you need a pick-me-up song. I love tracks that give me the strength to fight, like “Roar” by Katy Perry or “I Can’t Wait to Be King” by The Lion King. Even better—create a Spotify playlist of all your go-to empowering songs, ready whenever you need it.
• Chanting. Pick a simple affirmation to calm yourself. If you’re feeling sad, say, “(Your Name), I know you’re sad, but everything will be okay.” Speaking to yourself in the third person can remind you that you’re not alone.

4. Find the Trigger and Remove It

An emotional breakdown doesn’t happen out of the blue. There’s always a trigger that pushes you to your breaking point. Once you start feeling better, take time to analyze what triggered your breakdown in the first place.

A plushie from your ex that you got last Valentine’s Day.

Seeing a couple enjoying each other’s company.

Hearing “your song,” which brings back memories of your ex.

Certain habits that remind you of how things used to be.

From experience, you can eliminate most triggers of heartbreak by decluttering your mind, physical, and digital space.

You can donate or throw away anything that reminds you of your broken heart. Don’t hesitate to delete old pictures, refresh your Instagram grid, and mute your ex or his friends to avoid unnecessary emotional triggers.

You’re your top priority.

The good news is, you don’t have to mute others forever. You just need some quiet time to regain your strength. Later, if you want to reconnect, you can.

5. Shake It Off 

Do you know why dogs love to shake their bodies when life feels like too much (hello, grooming session)? Because it feels good!

That’s why you always feel better after working out. Body movement triggers endorphins, also known as happy hormones, which reduce stress and improve your mood. It’s like a form of meditation in motion.

Let’s use it to our advantage.

You can make exercise and stretching part of your daily or weekly routine, but sometimes you just need a quick boost during the day. Blast your favorite empowering song (told you that Spotify playlist would come in handy!) and dance.

Even a minute or two of goofy dance can get your blood flowing and lift your mood.

What if the breakdown hits in the middle of a work meeting or while you’re stuck in traffic?

Here’s a simple hack: pop a piece of gum or candy. Chewing gives your body a tiny physical release, distracting your mind and easing tension. Combine it with singing or humming for better results.

6. Create a Vision Board

The first five tips are practical things you can do when a breakdown hits you. But that’s not enough to make you grow stronger.

You need a vision board to direct your life and remind yourself that life is so much more than just a breakup. This simple yet powerful tool will help you realize that life isn’t over just because your relationship ended.

Instead of wondering, “What would my life be like if we hadn’t broken up?” shift your focus. Ask yourself, “Now that I have the freedom to live my life, what do I want it to look like?”

Let your imagination run wild, and don’t worry about the how. Start by making a list of what you want your life to look like, then find pictures that represent your future vision. Beyond material things, include emotional words like “peace” or “empowerment,” and add inspiring quotes that resonate with you.

Gather all those pictures in one place and display them where you’ll see them every day. This creates a visual anchor and gives you a sense of purpose. Your happy life is out there, waiting for you to claim it.

7. Journal to Process Your Emotion

Every day, your mind is like a tangled ball of yarn consisting of thoughts racing, emotions, random memories from the past, and more. Writing in a journal is like grabbing the loose thread and slowly unraveling the chaos.

When you ink your thoughts, you’ll slow down, breathe, and actually process what’s going on inside your head. Challenge yourself to dig deeper by asking questions like, What’s the real reason I feel so overwhelmed? or What’s one thing I can do today to feel just 1% better?

These aren’t questions we casually ask ourselves, but you might be surprised by what they can uncover.

Journaling isn’t about perfection; it’s about reflection. And the beauty is, there’s no right or wrong way to do it.

When I first went through a breakup, I journaled every day. Now that my emotions have settled and my life is heading in the direction I want, I journal once a month or whenever my heart calls me to do so.

The pile of my old journals also stands as a witness to how far I’ve come, giving me a sense of pride.

8. Reconnect with Yourself and Others Through Touch and Shared Moments

Dealing with an emotional breakdown can make you feel isolated. You start to see the world from a “you vs. the world” perspective. If you catch someone laughing, your first thought is that they’re laughing at you.

Living your life this way is like torturing yourself.

In this state, connecting with others can help you feel less lonely. Spend time with people you love, listen to their stories, pay attention to their facial expressions, and, best of all, laugh with them.

If you’re by yourself and everyone is busy, even giving your pet a belly rub can have the same effect as hanging out with humans.

However, there’s one person who can help you heal your deepest wound: your inner child. Take a look at a photo of yourself as a child, look her in the eye, and see what comes to mind.

Don’t be surprised if you become emotional and cry. Allow yourself to feel those emotions. Do you have something you want to say to her?

According to Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck, reconnecting with your inner child and giving her what she wants is the secret to a happy life.

Once you can look at a childhood photo and feel good about it, you’ll notice something shifting within yourself.

9. Spend Time in Nature for a Mental Reset

I never take getting outside as a serious thing. I used to work out indoors and run on the treadmill. During the 2020 pandemic, when gyms were closed, I realized a community park in my apartment complex with a jogging track that I never use.

I started with a 20-minute walk in the park and never stopped since. Now, going outside is part of my daily routine. One thing I’ve realized: I’m never in a bad mood after spending time outside.

When you’re outside, you can see the sky, surrounded by trees, and breathe in fresh air. Nature has a way of putting things in perspective: your problem is just a piece of a big universe.

Sure, your heartbreak is painful, but you’ll get through it and continue with your life.

You don’t have to be adventurous to enjoy the benefits of being outside. Whether you go hiking or simply take a walk around the block, it will refresh your mind.

If you want to take it a step further, try “earthing.” Walk barefoot on grass or soil—commonly called “earthing”—to connect directly with the earth. It helps ground your emotions and brings a calming sense of balance.

Does this idea seem too “out there” for you?

Don’t jump to conclusions too quickly. Take some time to read Earthing by Clinton Ober, which shares fascinating research and real-life testimonials about how connecting yourself to the Earth can benefit your health.

10. Laugh as Much as You Can

A good laugh can completely shift your mood and also heal your soul.

Don’t believe me?

Have you ever had a long day, come home, pet your furry friend, share a laugh, and instantly feel better?

Or you catch up with old friends, share a good laugh, and suddenly your life feels brighter?

Unfortunately, when you’re experiencing an emotional breakdown, laughing can be a challenge. You need all the help you can get.

Hanging out with pets is always a great option – it doesn’t even have to be your own. Offering to dog or cat-sit can be a perfect way to get that much-needed dose of joy.

Another great way to get a good laugh is by hanging out with a funny friend or watching a comedy movie or TV show.

Humor can distract you from your pain. It’s like hitting the refresh button for your brain. However, it’s not enough to change your life. Later, when you’ve gathered yourself again, you can reflect on what happened and figure out your next steps.

How do You Know You Need Professional Help?

Going through a severe breakup takes time. Sometimes, you can’t do it on your own. You need professional help.

Recognizing when you need professional help can be tricky. Here are 5 signs you might need professional help to cope with an emotional breakdown after a breakup:

• You can’t function in daily life: Struggling to get out of bed, go to work, or handle basic tasks.
• You’re overwhelmed by negative emotions: Constant sadness, anger, or anxiety that you can’t seem to control.
• You’re isolating yourself: Avoiding friends, family, and social activities for weeks or months.
• You’re unable to stop thinking about the breakup: Obsessively replaying thoughts or rehashing the relationship.
• You’re experiencing physical symptoms: Persistent fatigue, headaches, or changes in appetite and sleep patterns.

However, the most important sign is what your heart is telling you. If you feel the need for professional support, allow yourself to seek it.

Getting professional help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign that you respect your feelings and those around you. 

Emotional Breakdown Recovery: You’re Going to Be Okay

Dealing with an emotional breakdown after a breakup can feel a lot like driving a car—sometimes, you have to know when to press the gas and when to hit the brakes.

In this case, you must balance between feeling your pain, distracting yourself, and taking small steps to change things up. If you take too much on one thing, your progress won’t be good.

For example, if you numb yourself and pretend nothing happened, you’ll drag your pain along the way.

If you only distract yourself and never process your emotions, it’s like having a ticking bomb that will blow up any time.

Lastly, you might brush it off and move on without learning the lesson, but you’re likely to repeat the same mistake, leading to another emotional breakdown.

The fact that you read up to this point means you take your mental health seriously, and that’s a great start.

Life may feel hard right now, but things will get better. In the coming months or years, you’ll look back on this moment and feel proud of how far you’ve come.

Take care!