If you’ve ever experienced a breakup that leaves you feeling like you’re missing a piece of yourself, not worthy of love, and needs to prove that you deserve to have a happy life, you’re not alone.
Losing someone you love can shake your self-confidence to the core.
The problem is that self-confidence is important for you to make informed life decisions in general.
It will affect your career, personal life, and the next relationship you might have in the future.
So, when your self-esteem takes a toll due to splitting up, the effect can be detrimental to your life as a whole.
But here’s the thing: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
The fact that you’re still here means you have a good chance to fight back to get the life you deserve.
This article will help you with practical tips to recover from a broken heart and rebuild your self-confidence stronger than before.
1. Self-talk makeover.
The most powerful words are things you say to yourself.
When you’re getting through a breakup, the way you speak to yourself will help you bounce back quickly or draw you down.
If you constantly tell yourself negative things like, “I’m not good enough,” or “I’ll never find love again,” it’s time for a self-talk makeover.
But let’s be real here.
If you swap those words with positive words like, “I’m good enough” or “I’ll find love again,” your inner being will not believe it.
You need to take baby steps by changing those sentences to neutral, such as, “I’m good enough, at least for my cat,” or “One day, I’ll find love again.”
It sounds silly in the beginning, but that’s why it works as a baby step to change your negative self-talk.
It’s more believable. The more you affirm this new belief, the more you’ll start to believe it.
Once you build more confidence, you can change your self-talk into positive, like “I’m good enough.” or “I’ll find love again soon.”
To boost your self-confidence 10 times, you need to build it brick by brick.
Be your biggest cheerleader. As a rule of thumb, never say to yourself anything that you wouldn’t say to your best friend.
2. Dress up, even at home.
When you have a partner, you tend to dress to impress them.
Now that you’re single, it’s time to dress for yourself even if you stay at home all day.
Sometimes boosting your self-confidence is as simple: wear your best outfit, put some make-up on if that’s your thing, smile in front of a mirror, and say something good to yourself.
It might sound a bit odd, but there’s a real psychological trick at play here.
When you dress up and look your best, it signals your brain that you’re worth the effort.
If you take yourself seriously, so do others.
This also sets the standard on how you want other people to treat you: with respect.
So, if you’ve been wearing your old PJs, eating chocolate, and crying for your ex, it’s time to shake things up.
Swap your PJs with clothes that empower you.
Whether you want to look sexy in a dress or become a powerful executive in a suit, you do you.
It’s time to impress yourself, and soon others will follow.
3. Surround yourself with positivity.
After a broken heart, it’s vital to set an environment that helps you heal your pain.
The easiest way is by surrounding yourself with positivity.
It starts with the content you consume on social media, the people you’re talking with, and the music you listen to.
If you surround yourself with friends who are talking trash, draw yourself with broken heart quotes on social media, and listen to a playlist full of broken heart songs, you set yourself up for failure.
There’s time and place for all those things to express your agony, but there’s a limit to that.
When you know it’s time to regain your strength, you need to change your environment.
Once you spend more time with friends who want to level up, consume content that teaches you a new skill set, and listen to music that lifts you up, your emotions will turn around.
Stick with this routine for three months, and you will notice something shift in yourself.
4. Pamper yourself.
Sometimes, the road to rebuild self-confidence after getting through a breakup needs a luxurious pit stop.
We’re talking about mini-vacation for your soul.
It’s time to treat yourself as a princess by having a spa day or relaxing massage.
That’s not only pampering your body but also calming your nerves down.
When you make time and money for self-care, it shows that you love and care about yourself.
That’s how you want to be treated, starting with yourself, and others who want to be in your life need to do the same.
When you value yourself and treat yourself accordingly, it will boost your self-confidence without a doubt.
However, one spa day won’t miraculously transform you into a new person.
To see lasting changes, you need to do it consistently alongside other mindsets and bodywork.
The luxurious pit stop won’t do anything if you get home, stalk your ex on social media, and spend all day wishing the past will be different.
5. Learn something new.
Life can take unexpected turns, and a heartbreak can leave you feeling shattered and lost.
If you stay in your routine, it’s easy to get trapped in a self-pity party because everything in your life reminds you of your ex-partner.
This is where picking up a new hobby or learning a new skill can be a game-changer.
When you decide to learn a new instrument, start cooking gourmet meals, or take up a cool sport like rock climbing, you’ll be too busy for a self-pity party.
This gives you a healthy distraction, expands your social circle, and gives you a sense of accomplishment.
You might be single now, but your life is great!
But it doesn’t stop there.
When you have new activities and peer groups, you might get a chance to form new friendships or perhaps kindle a romantic spark with someone.
Take your time, keep exploring, and enjoy the process of becoming the new you.
In no time, you’ll not only survive a broken heart but also emerge stronger, more confident, and ready to start a new chapter of your life.
6. Make a bucket list.
Making a bucket list is a fantastic way to cheer up your day after a broken heart.
When you know you have a lot of things to do with your life, it will give you a sense of purpose on a daily basis.
Even better, you can find pictures that represent your bucket list and gather it on your vision board.
Place it on your table or a distinguished place that allows you to see it every day.
Checking on your vision board every day is more beneficial than staring at your ex’s picture and wishing him to come back to you.
However, your bucket list will do nothing for you if you put it inside your drawer.
You need to work on it every day.
Focus on one step at a time.
When you set these goals and work towards them, it will open you to new adventures in your life.
Therefore, write your list, grab some photos, and kickstart your journey towards your best life!
7. Get out in nature.
When you’re heartbroken, all you want to do is cocoon yourself inside and binge-watch sad TV shows all day.
But once you feel tension on your back for lying down too much (I’ve been there!), it’s time to make radical changes.
Your motion affects your emotions.
If you want to feel better, change your motion.
A little dose of walking in the park can work wonders for your soul.
There’s something incredibly soothing about the rustling leaves, the chirping birds, and the fresh, open air.
When you’re surrounded by Mother Nature, it can help you find your inner peace.
Natural landscapes will broaden your perspective and make you realize your problem is such a mini scale compared to the beautiful big world.
It’s like hitting the reset button for your soul.
8. Traveling.
Traveling is not only about places, it’s about learning new stories.
Meeting new people, tasting different cuisines, and immersing yourself in diverse cultures can expand your horizons like nothing else.
It’s like a crash course in personal growth.
Don’t be surprised if you get back from your getaway and gain new perspectives about life.
If you feel comfortable, try to go on solo traveling.
This is to make sure you have time to have a conversation with yourself.
If you go with a bunch of people, you might end up pleasing anyone else and not focusing on yourself.
Solo traveling will lead you to a new adventure, boost your mood, and speed up your recovery process.
You can take a week off or just a weekend on staycation.
So, go ahead and pack your bags and hit the road.
9. Read good books.
You can do a lot of mindset work to raise your self-confidence.
All those mindset tricks will help you for sure, but nothing can serve you best besides improving your quality as a human being.
The easiest way to improve yourself is by reading good books.
It will help you gain knowledge, learn new things, and expand your horizons.
Soon, you’ll hear your friend say, “Hey, where did you learn about that?”
That will give you solid confidence that you grow and become a better person every day.
Plus, reading books also plays a role as a good mentor.
If you’re an ordinary Joe like I am, it’s difficult to find the best mentor in real life.
When you read books, you can get insight from years of research and wisdom from the author.
That’s such a shortcut to becoming the better version of yourself.
10. Laugh more.
Here’s an easy trick to lighten your mood after a heartbreak: laugh more!
Laughter is like a medicine for your soul.
When you can laugh at your story, that’s a sign you start to heal from within.
That also means you start to see the lesson you get from your separation.
Right after the breakup, you might need help to get some chuckles.
Watching a funny movie, going to a comedy show, or hanging out with friends who make you laugh will help lift your spirits.
But that’s not all.
Do you have a big laugh like I do?
Own it!
Embracing your quirks is the ultimate sign of self-love.
Some people will love it, some may not, but that’s life.
The more you embrace your true self, the more your self-confidence will shine through.
And when finally you get another date, he is attracted to you for who you really are.
That’s a recipe for a happy relationship!
11. Declutter your space.
Decluttering your space can help you cope with a tough breakup.
Funny, I know.
But hear me out. According to a study by Princeton University, researchers discovered that our environment can positively or negatively impact our ability to complete tasks as well as our overall mental health.
Organizing your clutter can help you relax mentally while your body is staying active.
Removing controlling clutter will make you happier, less anxious, and more confident.
When you declutter, you also can get rid of signs of your ex to help you recover faster.
The last thing you need is your ex’s stuff lingering in your place long after the relationship is over.
But not all of us are born to be declutter enthusiasts, including yours truly.
You don’t need to do everything yourself if you don’t want to.
Set aside some budget to hire someone to do it for you.
Or you can call back up from friends and family to help you tidy your place.
You do not need to declutter and clean everything at once.
Starting small is the best way to start.
If decluttering one room makes you feel overwhelmed, start with decluttering one drawer in one day.
In a matter of weeks, you will notice a shift in your house and also how you feel inside.
12. Learn to accept compliments.
I grew up in Asian culture, which makes me struggle to accept compliments.
It’s not just an Asian thing, but many of us from various backgrounds can relate to this.
It’s hard to 10x your self-confidence if you can’t accept compliments and tend to exaggerate your weaknesses.
When you graciously accept a compliment, you’re acknowledging your worth and getting the recognition you deserve.
You can start with simple things such as saying, “Thank you” if someone says something nice about you.
Over time, you’ll notice a positive shift in your self-esteem, and it will make you stronger than ever.
13. Avoid comparisons.
Let’s talk about a little something we all do but probably shouldn’t—comparisons.
If you’re a competitive individual, comparing yourself to others comes almost automatically.
Social media at your fingertips makes everything complicated by fueling easy comparisons.
In most cases, comparing yourself with others might not ruin your day.
But on your bad day, comparison makes everything worse.
If you’re getting through a breakup, comparing your story to others will slow down your healing process immensely.
Even if you end up pushing through to ‘compete’ with others, this is not the best approach to dealing with your problem because you make decisions based on other people’s standards.
Here’s the deal: every diamond is unique, just like every human being.
Instead of wasting energy on comparisons, focus that energy on writing the best story for your own life.
Always remember that what makes others happy might not be your thing, and vice versa.
What matters most is your opinion about yourself, while the rest of it is a noise that might damage your self-esteem.
14. Take radical responsibility for everything.
When you’re broken-hearted, it’s tempting to blame your ex for ruining your life.
While your ex might do bad things to you, always remember it’s important to take radical self-responsibility.
It means everything that happens in your life is your fault.
If your partner treats you badly, that is your fault because you’re the one who let him become your partner initially.
This approach might sound mean, but it’s the faster way to bounce back from breakup.
When you take radical responsibility for your life, you don’t spend your time blaming others.
Not your partner, not your parents, not society.
It’s all on you. You take full control of your life, and it gives you full power to decide where you want to go.
Having full power in your life will boost your self-confidence because now you’re the CEO of your life, and you can do whatever you want with it.
15. Challenge your fears.
Going through heartbreak often leaves us with fears and insecurities that can really take a toll on our self-confidence.
If you want to push through, the best way to do it is by tackling those fears head-on.
Facing your fear is the shortcut to growing as an individual.
When you do something you’re scared of, it’s proof that you’re stronger than you think.
For example, if you are scared of heights, skydiving can break the glass ceiling in your mind and make you become a new person.
But don’t worry, you don’t need to jump from an airplane to recover from a broken heart.
You can start small and gradually work your way up to take on bigger challenges.
If you are scared of talking to a man, make it a challenge to talk to a man who catches your eye in your daily life.
Do it once for a month, and soon, you’ll be better at getting dates.
It’s time to turn pain into power.
In life, we all face moments of setbacks.
But you always have a choice to let your pain define you or use it as a stepping stone to rebuild your life.
This list should help you start to overcome your heartbreak and pump up your self-confidence.
With a new level of confidence, you can make better choices for your future.
You got this!
Anggi Pradhini
Anggi Pradhini’s passion for writing a blog ignited after she experienced the pain of three breakups of long-term relationships. But as she rises from her pain, her three failed relationships make her way to rebuild her life in the right direction. In this blog, she wants to inspire people to bounce back from broken hearts and revamp their lives.
